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Small talk roadmap

Mar 01, 2026
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Hey there!

During the pandemic, a woman on the radio said something that stopped me in my tracks. The phone-in programme for once had taken a break from the ever depressing news about COVID to discuss the purpose of education in the 21st Century - and the woman said:

β€œThey educate us enough to make them a profit.”

That got my brain thinking. I could understand her comment from a historic perspective: that education systems were created to make the masses employable in the industrial age. Schools offered sufficient tuition to churn out the volume of educated workers that society needed.

But is general education still fit for purpose in 2026 when everything you want to know is on the internet?

Why aren't teenagers taught confidence or self-awareness? These 2 qualities alone impact not only one's quality of life but their performance at work and in the community. Investment in these areas no doubt have greater all round ROI than subjects that sit on curriculum because they always have been.  

So business schools teach them instead - at a premium. 

I'd add small talk to the list of life skills that we're expected pick up along the way. Nobody ever sits you down and explains why we do it or how to do it well. Probabaly because they don't know either. So we just copy what everyone else does.

But everyone else does it poorly.

For example: how often do you cringe when you're asked "What do you do?" at an event? Chances are your job title doesn't clearly describe what you do to anyone outside your complany bubble. And do they really want to know what you do between 9-5?

No. They just ask it because it's as easy question to reach for.

It's also a lazy question. Research says that as many as 85% of people are dissatisfoed with their job. So you have only a 15% chance of engaging someone with this question.

No wonder people come to loathe small talk.

It's hard work. You share no common history, stories or jargon so attempting to make conversation is like swimming in mud. That's what it soemtimes felt like for me when I was required to make small talk for an hour a day for 4 years when I worked in Tokyo.

By the end of those 4 years, I distilled the process into a roadmap of 10 clear steps - starting from understanding the purpose of the conversation to wrapping it up and leaving. I'm now sharing publically for the first time.

If you'd like a copy of this roadmap, click the button below.

Get the free Small Talk Roadmap 

I'll be presenting the Roadmap in more detail 25 March 7pm GMT / 2pm EST where I'll also premiere the POISED tool that enables you to read the room before you even arrive. 


Recommended this month

I was surprised that a podcast about breathing maintained my interest until the end. (I admit I listened to it x 1.3 speed.) I did have the best night's sleep afterwards though. Give it a listen to hear how we should all be breathing through our nose and not our mouth.

 RICH ROLL x JAMES NESTOR


Have a great March, and hope to see you on the 25th.

Anna

Founder: Quiet Advantage

 

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